Suvir Saran, Michelin-starred chef, lays it bare in his new memoir, Tell My Mother I Like Boys

“Dr Shashi Tharoor read my book, and said ‘the last person to write a memoir this honest was Mark Twain. And he waited a 150 years after his death for it to be released’.” Suvir Saran shares this glowing testimonial about his new book, Tell My Mother I Like Boys. The book is a vulnerable, frank and touching account of Suvir’s life. “I have stripped myself naked,” says the chef on the phone from Mumbai. Suvir’s Indian restaurant in New York, Devi, won a Michelin-star back in the 2000s. Now Suvir chronicles his journey of growing up queer in India, life in New York City and living his truth fearlessly.

“This book is not a chronicle. It is a monsoon. It pours, it pauses, it floods, it recedes, it returns,” Suvir says in the preface. It opens in his home in South Extension in New Delhi, with memories of his grandfather, and his death that impacted Suvir early on. From then he takes us with him to Nagpur, Mumbai and New York. The trauma of growing up queer, agonising heartbreaks, facing racism, and rising above it all — is all laid bare with resolute frankness. “When the publisher hit me up to write my story, I felt why would I lie about it. My life is remarkable only if you see it in all its honesty. Otherwise, I can live like any other person, hiding myself, being afraid.”

The cover of ‘Tell My Mother I Like Boys’
| Photo Credit:
Special arrangement

“Some parts were difficult, and I have softened it,” he says in reference to the first heartbreak he was dealt when he landed up in New York following someone he loved.

“I could have written it a lot worse, and I could have made a monster out of the man who I am writing about. But even today, I feel I would not be Suvir had I not have Robert hurt me in 1993. Every time I had something good happen in my life, I thank him. Because of you I have a promotion, because of I have a quarter million-dollar book deal. That heartbreak and dirty game made me who I am. I look at it is gratitude rather than hate.”

This selfless outlook continues through the book. It almost feels like an ode to all the people who have supported Suvir through his life. From his sisters and mother, to schoolteachers and numerous friends.

Devi, and Michelin stars

In 2004, at the age of 29 Suvir opened Devi, an Indian-inspired restaurant on 18th street. “Cooking became my anchor, a way of grounding myself in a world that often felt too big.” It showcased a kind of Indian food that New York had not seen before. “We had jackfruit biriyani, seasonal bhels, lamb chops with the potato filling of a masala dosa. I used to make poriyal, mor kuzhambu and gongura pickles. My karara okra was named one of Food & Wine magazine’s 40 best dishes of the last 40 years.” It received a Michelin star in 2006. Following an illness, which he describes in poetic detail, he moved back to India.

Today, Suvir lives in Mumbai and is associated with Goa-based Jolene by the Sea. He has his hands full with a hotel and wellness spa he is launching in Alibaug. “I am writing a couple of novels. and a book titled After I Leave. It is a book of meditations and thoughts on friendship, love, heartbreak and life.”

Read an excerpt from Suvir Saran’s novel Tell My Mother I Like Boys, here.

The book is published by Penguin India and is priced at ₹699